You're the ONE for ME

Monday, 30 November 2009 ' 8:30 pm Y

c0mp|!c4+ed and hardtounderstand.. '

Its has been ages since i last posted on this dead dead dead...
Blog.
Im starting to hate this blog, blogging, and almost everything else for no good reason..
Maybe its becuz of ppl coming here to spam their unhappiness abt me?
Or isit just something else which i think it is?
"whymustitbesocomplicatedandhardtounderstand?"

Anyway, i cant keep it in my heart anymore and dats why i had no choice but to use my blog to vent it all out.(hope u are the one seeing this)

I havent been sms-ing that person for quite some time and we arent relly very close.
So well, Here goes.
And if you think its you dat im refering to, pls tell me. Thanks. PleasePlease tell me. Dun be afraid.
---~!@#$%^&*()_+|...---
Just sad about how things are.
Nobody knows wad im going thru now. Not. At all.
Okay, I relly hope YOU are reading this.
Thanks,
& I think i _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.
Its complicated and I kinda know what to expect at the very end which is very near.
In my opinion...
Endings hurt,
& yes, I hav been thinking all day.
Since the second i woke up.
I was dazed, confused, bemused and filled with anger when i see that something everyday.

I'm all alone. As in facing my probs..
In search of something more.. but the more i comb, the more i look,
I find out and realise dat at last that theres actually nth for me. Nth.
Suffocating wifout enough "air?",
I choke on the memories you left me with.
You changed and left me with the bits and pieces of memories lying on the ground.
You didnt even realise that, when i was around. Or did you?
......
The next time i saw you,
I dint feel like how i felt before..
It feels as if i was a stranger.. Or sort?
When will this eva end? Or will it not?

Okay!! That was a story.
Can be made up and can be true. 0.o
Real but not relly too.
But i dont relly care.

So well, im happy ive got it out of the bottle in my chest. =)
And Im tired... relly tired..
Of everything.
Like everything is so cliche, so predictable.
You know what will happen and what wont.
You know what to expect and what not to.
You dun even hav to wait for that thing to happen
and you know what occurs next.
***********.

Im kinda vexed & confused now.
cause you din realise
all this.

I might be fickle minded.
I can't seem to decide on a single thing itself.
& dreams, i would like to have them,
but when i do, I just let go of them.
Like a balloon.
It may always be there, but someday, the helium in it will lessen
& eventually be gone.
Even if the helium doesnt diffuse out of it,
a strong wind might be kind enuff to release it from its original position,
letting it free?

Haix.. Relly exhausted from saying all this.. Byes..
---~!@#$%^&*()_+|---

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[Name] Rodericks
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